Running, and why I haven't been doing it

After the marathon, I had every intention of doing a long run each weekend after a short recovery period.  I wanted to keep up the level of fitness I have and keep my mileage up for my physical and mental health.  But I didn't.  I let almost two weeks go by before running at all, and I've only run once since the marathon.  (IN my defense, I tried to run today, but there were no free treadmills at the gym, so I did a long workout on the elliptical.)  I think there are a couple of reasons why I have been slacking.

First, I ran a freakin' marathon, so I get to be lazy for a week or two.  Duh.  Second, I needed a mental break.  The marathon was physically exhausting, yes, but my body was recovered within a few days.  What it took me longer to recover from was the mental side.  The race meant a lot to me, as a tribute to my uncle who passed away, as a personal triumph over injury and setbacks, and as a symbol of the importance of testing yourself, making yourself do the hard things, and just flat out refusing to give up.  I have had a lot going on in my personal and professional lives recently, and the race was a microcosm of everything that has been going on in my head: 5 hours of thinking, of feeling real physical and emotional pain, five hours of perseverance and difficulty and fear, five hours of meditation and determination.  And I apparently needed a while to process all that and find equilibrium again.

I also just happen to be an incredibly externally motivated person.  I will do just about anything for a gold star, for an A+, or for a blue ribbon, but I can't get out of bed to run two miles just because I know that I need to.  So I need to sign up for another race, probably a half marathon, so that I have some reason to keep training this winter.  I am fine if I have a concrete goal or a buddy who is counting on me, but my  running buddies are all swamped with other things right now, and so I need to find some other way.  I am also hoping to start a more regimented strength training program, because I can't seem to make myself do push-ups just because it would be nice to be strong, but if someone I've never met yells at me on my TV screen in an exercise video, I will do all the damn pushups in the world.  I am crazy.

Anyway, I haven't been running much, but I already feel flabby and tired and useless and double extra neurotic, so I am taking steps to ensure that I run more for the wellbeing of myself and others.