Fishing

Because of recent events in my life, both joyous and sad, I have been reflecting a lot about loved ones lost and about my fondest memories of them.  I realized that it has been over five years since my grandfather passed away, and in that time, I have left college, started and finished law school, taken the bar, started working as a lawyer, gotten married and settled into my grown-up life, the life that I have in part because of his encouragement and support.  These last five years have been jam-packed with milestones, and not a single one has passed without me thinking of him and wishing he could be there to see it.

My fondest memories of my grandfather generally involve food or fishing, because those were the two of his passions that he most ardently and thoroughly involved the family in.  Fishing occurs at every non-wedding family gathering, and when our family was a corporation for a while (for tax reasons having to do with the family farm... or something) or corporate motto was "let's eat!"

 I have so many fond memories of grandpa, of him patiently untangling fishing line that I had managed to tangle again, of him encouraging me to order off the grown-up menu at fancy restaurants when I was a kid, of him giving The Husband the once-over when we first started dating.  (Verdict: he'll do.  Grandma's verdict, on the other hand: "Oh lord, she is going to steam-roller right over that poor boy.  Grandma, I have tried not to!)  My grandfather's death was the first major loss of my life, so I learned how to grieve at the same time I was learning to grow up in so many other ways.  Losing him, getting into law school, finishing college, those things all happened more or less together.  I think of them as a kind of fulcrum of my life; they are the point where I tipped away from childhood and into the life I have now.

There is more to say, but I seem to have run out of the saying of it.  The moral of the story, I guess, is that I am still learning to grieve, and it is a process I hope I don't get much practice at.  Happy October, everyone.