Running

I haven't posted much about running.  Until now, I haven't had that much to say.  I ran the Race for Justice earlier this summer, and a few weeks ago I ran a 10K roadrace just for fun with some friends.  And I thought that was probably it.

Though I'd been running several times a week for a few months and I'd run in two races, I still didn't consider myself a "runner."  I looked on the whole thing as a bizarre accident, some strange happenstance that had resulted in me actually running places without being chased.  I'm not very athletic, and all my other hobbies have to do with making and eating food, so I felt like an impostor.  I didn't even like running... I was just doing it because... well, to tell you truth, I wasn't really sure why.

But after my 10K, I felt really good.  Really good.  I wasn't sure I'd be able to do it, but I did it, and I wasn't even that sore the next day.  So I walked into work feeling great and a co-worker, a real runner, not an impostor like me, asked if I'd run a half marathon with her.  In October.

I said I would.

And though I'm still not 100% sure I like running, I am forced to admit that I like something about this whole thing, or I would have stopped by now.  But I haven't.  Maybe that's because I want to prove to myself that I can do this; I can run a half marathon.  I've been running 15 miles a week to get ready for the half, and this morning, I ran 8.5 miles.  By myself. I think maybe I can do this, and that's awesome.

It is awesome because it is making me feel strong  and sure and mighty, and like I really could take on anything.  I can keep going and keep going and keep going, and all I need is myself and my ipod.  And it is awesome because today, on the trail around mile 2, I crossed paths with real runners: tall, leggy girls wearing Tshirts from their past races who were working along the trail in a ground-eating lope, looking like they could keep it up forever.  I thought to myself, "I will never be like that."   But I kept going,determined, two more miles in and then two miles back on my loop, when I ran by the same girls on their return trip.  And one of them nodded to me and pumped her fist in the air, like "Yeah!  We are awesome!  Only two more miles to go!"   And I saluted right back, thinking "Yes, we are."  I finished my last two miles, and I know that I am a runner.