Turkey
This is how I make my holiday turkey. It is a method I borrowed in part from my Uncle George and in part from Alton Brown. It seems odd, but trust me, it works. Once again I didn't get photos of the process, so you'll just have to trust me.
Holiday Turkey and Gravy
Nouns-
1 Turkey, preferably free range young hen, 1-2 lbs per person
For the Brine--
1.25 cups kosher salt
1 gallon apple cider
1/4 cup allspice berries
10 bay leaves
10 sprigs thyme
1/4 cup brown sugar
Ginger, fresh or candied
1/4 cup peppercorns
1 bag party ice
1 gallon water
For the Roasting-
1 stick butter
5 cloves garlic, peeled and partially crushed
3 sprigs rosemary
8 sprigs thyme
2 apples, sliced
2 onions, quartered
kosher salt
pepper
1 large paper bag, with nothing printed on it
olive oil
1 stapler
kitchen string
1 meat thermometer (it really is worth the $15 at Target to get the remote thermometer that you leave in the bird connected to the readout on the stovetop by a wire and beeps when you reach the temperature you have set... it is the bestest thing ever.
For the Gravy-
2-3 cups chicken broth
1 onion, quartered
Thyme and Garlic, optional
3 tbsp butter
3 tbsp flour
Verbs-
18 hours before you plan to roast your bird, get it ready to brine. Remove the neck, giblets and other unmentionables from the cavities and reserve them. DO NOT WASTE THEM, even if you think they are gross. You are right. They are. But, magic can be made from them. Rinse the bird. Thoroughly wash a cooler or other large waterproof receptacle. Fill it with the ice and water. On the stovetop, heat the cider and all remaining brine ingredients until bubbly and fragrant and all the salt is dissolved. Cool the liquid to room temperature and add to the cooler. Add the bird and additional ice or water if needed. Brine for 12-18 hours.
While you're brining, make some delicious turkey stock. Take the neck and other unmentionables and saute them in a saucepot in butter until brown. Then add the onion, thyme and garlic to the pot, and pour the chicken stock over the top. Simmer for at least an hour, preferably several. Strain and reserve the resulting liquid. NOW you may discard the yucky turkey bits.
When it is time to roast, preheat oven to 325 and remove the bird from the brine. Rinse and pat dry. In the microwave on low, heat the butter, a clove of garlic, a sprig of thyme and a sprig of rosemary until melted and fragrant. Position the bird on your roasting rack and loosely fill the cavity with the apples, onions, and remaining herbs and garlic. Loosely tie the legs together over the cavity and fold the wing tips under the body of the bird to prevent overcooking. Then, brush the melted butter over the entire bird. Once the turkey is coated with herb butter, liberally sprinkle with kosher salt. Here's where it gets weird: thoroughly oil the paper bag and put the turkey, roasting rack and all, inside the bag. Fold the ends of the bag over and staple shut. If you have a remote thermometer, position it deep in the breast with the cord coming out of the bag and staple the bag closed around the wire. Roast at 325 until the thermometer reads 165. Then, cut away the paper bag, making sure that the drippings go into the roasting pan or other container and are not wasted.
Set the turkey and roasting rack on a large cookie sheet or sheet pan to rest.
One the stovetop, you're ready to make gravy. Combine the butter and flour and saute until bubbly and golden brown. Pour in the turkey stock and whisk over medium heat until thickened. Pour in the drippings and whisk until combined. Season with salt and pepper if necessary. This is the best gravy ever.
Once your bird has rested, it is ready to carve and serve. (I then make more turkey stock out of the bones and use it for delicious soup, but that's another post.)
Happy Holidays!
Gratuitous cat photos
I am really enjoying taking pictures with my new iPhone. Here are a few of my cats and also my husband. Some of them have filters make it look like it's the 1970s. This is appropriate because my husband has a truly heinous mustache right now for Movember. I can't wait until the month is over and he shaves it. Until then, party like it's 1977.
Cranberry Sauce Public Service Announcement
Dear Readers-
I implore you to forego the canned cranberry stuff this holiday season and make your own cranberry sauce. Even if you are not a cook and don't normally go the "from scratch" route for your holiday meals, and even if you don't even like the canned cranberry stuff and were planning on skipping the red goo this year, give this a shot. You'll thank me. Cranberry sauce is literally the easiest thing to make on my whole holiday table, and it turns the meal bright and fancy, dresses up the sandwiches you'll make from leftover turkey, and generally makes life good.
I'm providing two recipes here, the basic stovetop cranberry sauce, which is basically what the canned stuff is trying to be, and my mom's cranberry relish, which is a simple raw relish that is probably the best turkey sandwich condiment ever invented. Fo' reals.
Cranberry Sauce: It really is this easy!
Nouns-
1 bag fresh cranberries, rinsed
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
Verbs-
Cranberry Relish
Nouns-
1 bag cranberries
1 cup walnuts
1 whole orange, seeded
1 cup sugar
Verbs-
Chop all ingredients in the food processor for several minutes until the consistency of pickle relish. Eat.
I implore you to forego the canned cranberry stuff this holiday season and make your own cranberry sauce. Even if you are not a cook and don't normally go the "from scratch" route for your holiday meals, and even if you don't even like the canned cranberry stuff and were planning on skipping the red goo this year, give this a shot. You'll thank me. Cranberry sauce is literally the easiest thing to make on my whole holiday table, and it turns the meal bright and fancy, dresses up the sandwiches you'll make from leftover turkey, and generally makes life good.
I'm providing two recipes here, the basic stovetop cranberry sauce, which is basically what the canned stuff is trying to be, and my mom's cranberry relish, which is a simple raw relish that is probably the best turkey sandwich condiment ever invented. Fo' reals.
Cranberry Sauce: It really is this easy!
Nouns-
1 bag fresh cranberries, rinsed
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
Verbs-
Put the nouns in a saucepan, maybe even stir them if you feel fancy. Bring to a boil and simmer until the berries pop. Remove from heat, cool and eat.
Cranberry Relish
Nouns-
1 bag cranberries
1 cup walnuts
1 whole orange, seeded
1 cup sugar
Verbs-
Chop all ingredients in the food processor for several minutes until the consistency of pickle relish. Eat.
Pre-Thanksgiving prep
The cheesecake is in the oven, the cranberries are popping in their saucepan, and turkey stock is simmering on the back burner. The turkey is soaking in brine and the house smells like heaven. Can't wait for friends and family to arrive tomorrow.
Best Mac and Cheese
I tried a new Mac and Cheese recipe today, which was risky because we had company for dinner and I generally don't like to experiment on guests in the kitchen (that is what my secret basement lab is for). But, this recipe sounded easy and got rave reviews, so I went for it.
Um, wowza.
This is a totally different thing from the other mac and cheese recipes I've made. Those all basically involve cooking and draining pasta, then making the sauce from a roux, milk and shredded cheese, then combining the pasta and sauce and baking. This is a one-pot, no draining concoction that is as creamy as any restaurant mac and cheese I've ever had. It's so thick and rich that a small helping feels like a decadent feast. It is, in a nutshell, my new mac and cheese.
The full recipe I used for inspiration is here: http://whiteonricecouple.com/recipes/cheese/stove-top-one-pot-macaroni-cheese-recipe/
However, as usual, I made some changes.
My version is as follows.
Alice's Magical One-pot Cheesy Noodles of Joy
Nouns-
4 cups milk (I used 1%)
1 lb pasta (I used orecchiette, and they stuck together a bit. Macaroni or cavatappi would probably be awesome)
2 cups shredded cheese or more if you feel like it (I used half gruyere, half sharp white cheddar)
6 slices turkey bacon, chopped
2 good-sized crowns of broccoli, cut into florets
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp dry mustard
1/4 tsp paprika
Optional-
1/3 cup panko breadcrumbs
1 tsp butter
Verbs-
In a medium to large pan, brown the bacon, then remove the bacon and reserve it. Steam the broccoli florets in the microwave and reserve those. Then, in the saucepan on the stove, combine the noodles, spices and milk. (I know! Weird! Trust me. I was distracted by a cute baby and didn't take photos of this on the stovetop, but take my word for it, this is a thing that works. Fo' reals) Bring the milk up to a gentle simmer over medium heat, stirring to separate the pasta. Gently (gently!) simmer the milk and pasta over medium low heat for about 15 minutes, stirring to be sure that milk doesn't scald on the bottom, the noodles don't stick together, and nothing curdles or boils. The mixture will thicken on its own and take on a creamy consistency. If it gets too thick, add a little more milk. When the pasta is tender, turn to low heat and stir in the cheese, bacon and broccoli, stirring to combine. Remove from heat. If you want, in another pan, gently fry the panko in the butter until brown and fragrant. Sprinkle over the top of the mac and cheese. Eat. Marvel.
Um, wowza.
This is a totally different thing from the other mac and cheese recipes I've made. Those all basically involve cooking and draining pasta, then making the sauce from a roux, milk and shredded cheese, then combining the pasta and sauce and baking. This is a one-pot, no draining concoction that is as creamy as any restaurant mac and cheese I've ever had. It's so thick and rich that a small helping feels like a decadent feast. It is, in a nutshell, my new mac and cheese.
The full recipe I used for inspiration is here: http://whiteonricecouple.com/recipes/cheese/stove-top-one-pot-macaroni-cheese-recipe/
However, as usual, I made some changes.
My version is as follows.
Alice's Magical One-pot Cheesy Noodles of Joy
Nouns-
4 cups milk (I used 1%)
1 lb pasta (I used orecchiette, and they stuck together a bit. Macaroni or cavatappi would probably be awesome)
2 cups shredded cheese or more if you feel like it (I used half gruyere, half sharp white cheddar)
6 slices turkey bacon, chopped
2 good-sized crowns of broccoli, cut into florets
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp dry mustard
1/4 tsp paprika
Optional-
1/3 cup panko breadcrumbs
1 tsp butter
Verbs-
In a medium to large pan, brown the bacon, then remove the bacon and reserve it. Steam the broccoli florets in the microwave and reserve those. Then, in the saucepan on the stove, combine the noodles, spices and milk. (I know! Weird! Trust me. I was distracted by a cute baby and didn't take photos of this on the stovetop, but take my word for it, this is a thing that works. Fo' reals) Bring the milk up to a gentle simmer over medium heat, stirring to separate the pasta. Gently (gently!) simmer the milk and pasta over medium low heat for about 15 minutes, stirring to be sure that milk doesn't scald on the bottom, the noodles don't stick together, and nothing curdles or boils. The mixture will thicken on its own and take on a creamy consistency. If it gets too thick, add a little more milk. When the pasta is tender, turn to low heat and stir in the cheese, bacon and broccoli, stirring to combine. Remove from heat. If you want, in another pan, gently fry the panko in the butter until brown and fragrant. Sprinkle over the top of the mac and cheese. Eat. Marvel.
Sorting... a snippet post
I realized when I was on Pinterest today (which is like saying "I realized as I was breathing today"... because I cannot stop pinning) that like a few other nerdy pinners, I often silently "sort" people I know into their appropriate Hogwarts houses. That internal game is pretty boring at work... we are all nearly all Ravenclaws with the occasional Slytherin or Hufflepuff thrown in. I also wonder if sometimes other people are silently sorting me. Probably not.
I am a dork.
I am a dork.
Giving Thanks
This year, we'll be hosting a small group of friends and family at home, and I am sharing cooking duties with my friend Laura, (lucky us, she makes amazing pumpkin pie!) so as to make everything easier. I am responsible for the turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce and a vegetable. The veggie was going to be green beans, but on The Husband's request, has been converted to sweet corn pudding. I will also be making a cheesecake as that is traditional for The Husband and his sister. Laura is bringing mashed potatoes, a sweet potato thing that sounds amazing, the aforementioned pumpkin pie, and corn muffins. Yummm! We'll also have a crab plate, which is a traditional thing for The Husband's family, for folks to munch on in the hours before dinner as they watch football or assist the cook or whatever they are doing.
I will do my Uncle George's patented paper bag turkey cooking method, my own bread-based celery, shallot, apple, pecan and thyme stuffing, both cranberry sauce and cranberry relish, and the cheesy corn pudding bake that evokes my grandmother's homemade midwestern creamed corn. I'll make gravy from the drippings as well. So looking forward to it!
I will do my Uncle George's patented paper bag turkey cooking method, my own bread-based celery, shallot, apple, pecan and thyme stuffing, both cranberry sauce and cranberry relish, and the cheesy corn pudding bake that evokes my grandmother's homemade midwestern creamed corn. I'll make gravy from the drippings as well. So looking forward to it!
Vignettes
Badge of Honor
I am not a naturally graceful or coordinated person, though I have, at times, been athletic. I was captain of my high school swim team and I ran a marathon last month, so I'm not the stereotypical sport-phobic nerd girl, but neither am I capable of maneuvering around my world without consistently bashing into things. This afternoon, I walked smack into my coffee table and banged my knee. I was instantly transformed from functional adult to mewling child, writhing on the floor wishing I could somehow detach my knee, with its throbby bruise, from the rest of me. Ow. I limped around for an hour or two whining, and just now rolled up my pant leg to check the status of my horrible, dignity-destroying injury.
NOTHING.
It is incredibly frustrating when there is no physical mark to show you are not a crazy person when you hurt yourself. I guess it's nice not to have a big purple bruise on my leg, but I want something to show that I earned my whining.
Prickly and Sticky
Today we went car shopping, and it was awful. We drove out to Beaverton and ended up in the Budget Corral of one of the dealers there, a used lot that they keep safely separate from their main lot so that the cars don't infect their more expensive brethren with their crapitude. The car we came to see was buried four rows into the impenetrable bumper-to-bumper lot, so even though we'd called ahead, we had to wait for about 20 minutes while junkers were driven, pushed and dragged out of the way. During that time, we avoided billowing clouds of exhaust and admired the impressive and creepy piles of cacti in the dealership office. The little storefront was filled floor to ceiling with shelves and shelves of cacti, and they had spilled out so that the cars parked nearest the door had pots of cacti on their hoods and roofs. Cacti everywhere. Finally, we got to the test-drive, and discovered that the steering wheel cover, a cheap plastic thing, had started to... degenerate? Melt? secrete mucus? I don't know what was going on, but it was sticky all over. Poor Spencer had to put his hands on it to drive. The car was... awful. The brakes made sketchy noises and the steering required massive amounts of upper body strength. We returned it to the dealership. Before we left, Spencer said "Wow, that's a lot of cacti." "Yes, I'm weird." said Errol, our used car salesman.
I'm inclined to agree.
Why are you all wet...? Oh.
Today I gave the cats their flea and tick treatment, that horrible stuff that goes on in a glob on that spot on their backs that they are not supposed to be able to reach (which they totally can, I swear, the non-reachable spot is a myth). I globbed Moby, and then I tried to glob Mezzie. Mezzie, however, proved somewhat difficult. At first, I thought I could handle it because she was curled up in a round ball of fluffy fatness purring sleepily, and so I squeezed the tube over the spot with no particular urgency. Mistake. Mezzie smelled it and felt the wetness and took off in a physics-defying sprint. Her voluminous... volume... and her sudden escape resulted in the stuff going nowhere near where it should have. What I thought was the middle of her back was really a roll of fat that had sagged into that location while she was sleeping, and that is where I had deposited the largest glob, which was trailed by a comet tail of failed medicine application marking where I'd tried to keep going as she ran for cover. This happens every damn time, and so I don't know what makes me think I can actually do this properly.
Worse, though, is that all day I've been snuggling up with Moby, only to feel the tacky patch of smelly goo on his back and spend five seconds thinking "yuck! What is this? It's all over me... oh. Crap. Remember not to pet Moby until his medicine is all absorbed. Right." Then I wash my hands, move on to another task for a few minutes and then see Moby and go snuggle his sweet little face because he is so cute and... oh. Damn.
Reflections
This post is just a few disjointed vignettes, things that came to mind today that I thought I'd share.
Hot Milk Sponge Cake
For me, some foods are profoundly evocative of a particular memory or person. One of the strongest associations I have is with Hot Milk Sponge Cake, which instantly transports me to my friend Candice's high school bedroom, where I can hear my friend Miriam's laugh and feel the slight stickiness of powdered sugar on my fingers. I was thinking about making it soon, in part because I miss Miriam so much. I can see in my mind's eye about half a dozen times when I ate this cake with Miriam, and I feel closer to her just by reading through the recipe.
If it ain't broke...
My parents both have a habit of sticking it out with their possessions sometimes long long after they should be replaced. My mom is naturally frugal and takes great pride in making do with less and stretching the useful lives of things, and my dad is... um, somewhat disengaged from the world at times. I used to find this trait somewhat ridiculous in my parents, and they sometimes find it ridiculous in each other. I remember feeling profound relief when my parents finally replaced our dishwasher when I was in high school, about a year after the door of the thing started falling off on a semi-regular basis. Today at breakfast at a friend's house we were discussing how much we come to resemble our parents as we get older, and very topically, this evening the Husband exasperatedly asked me "how can you stand that computer?!? I would find that so infuriating!" And I was forced to admit that having a laptop that won't stay connected to the internet for more than 30 seconds in a row, that constantly shifts between battery power and charging because the cord and connector are all hinky, and that occasionally goes all purple and refuses to work is maybe... um... not necessary. I could get a new one really any time, and it's not necessary to wait for this one to be permanently purple and hinky before I call it quits. And, I promise, if the door to the dishwasher falls off, we'll get a new one within 6 months.
Apple Butter
Apple butter is delicious and useful. I love it on ice cream, on sandwiches, on toast. I will be making roast turkey, apple butter and brie sandwiches soon. Yumm.
Dr. Who is Awesome
By rights, it shouldn't be. There is no reason why such a campy, ridiculous, far-fetched concatenation of nonsense should be so emotionally compelling, so funny, and so addictive. After David Tennant left, I was convinced that I would not love the show as much anymore, because he had to be the thing that made it so...so... whatever it is. But no, 2 minutes into the first Matt Smith episode I was squeeing and clapping and generally enthusing and obsessing about it. And now, of course, I adore Matt Smith. ADORE. This makes no sense. I cannot explain it. But it is.
Hot Milk Sponge Cake
For me, some foods are profoundly evocative of a particular memory or person. One of the strongest associations I have is with Hot Milk Sponge Cake, which instantly transports me to my friend Candice's high school bedroom, where I can hear my friend Miriam's laugh and feel the slight stickiness of powdered sugar on my fingers. I was thinking about making it soon, in part because I miss Miriam so much. I can see in my mind's eye about half a dozen times when I ate this cake with Miriam, and I feel closer to her just by reading through the recipe.
If it ain't broke...
My parents both have a habit of sticking it out with their possessions sometimes long long after they should be replaced. My mom is naturally frugal and takes great pride in making do with less and stretching the useful lives of things, and my dad is... um, somewhat disengaged from the world at times. I used to find this trait somewhat ridiculous in my parents, and they sometimes find it ridiculous in each other. I remember feeling profound relief when my parents finally replaced our dishwasher when I was in high school, about a year after the door of the thing started falling off on a semi-regular basis. Today at breakfast at a friend's house we were discussing how much we come to resemble our parents as we get older, and very topically, this evening the Husband exasperatedly asked me "how can you stand that computer?!? I would find that so infuriating!" And I was forced to admit that having a laptop that won't stay connected to the internet for more than 30 seconds in a row, that constantly shifts between battery power and charging because the cord and connector are all hinky, and that occasionally goes all purple and refuses to work is maybe... um... not necessary. I could get a new one really any time, and it's not necessary to wait for this one to be permanently purple and hinky before I call it quits. And, I promise, if the door to the dishwasher falls off, we'll get a new one within 6 months.
Apple Butter
Apple butter is delicious and useful. I love it on ice cream, on sandwiches, on toast. I will be making roast turkey, apple butter and brie sandwiches soon. Yumm.
Dr. Who is Awesome
By rights, it shouldn't be. There is no reason why such a campy, ridiculous, far-fetched concatenation of nonsense should be so emotionally compelling, so funny, and so addictive. After David Tennant left, I was convinced that I would not love the show as much anymore, because he had to be the thing that made it so...so... whatever it is. But no, 2 minutes into the first Matt Smith episode I was squeeing and clapping and generally enthusing and obsessing about it. And now, of course, I adore Matt Smith. ADORE. This makes no sense. I cannot explain it. But it is.
Meal Plan
This week's plan:
Blue Corn Nachos with Shredded Chicken and Black Beans
Turkey Meatballs, mashed potatoes and gravy
Vegetable Soup
Mac and Cheese with Broccoli
Tuna Melts
Blue Corn Nachos with Shredded Chicken and Black Beans
Turkey Meatballs, mashed potatoes and gravy
Vegetable Soup
Mac and Cheese with Broccoli
Tuna Melts
Weekend update
On Friday night, I went to see David Sedaris give a reading. That man is one of the funniest and most insane humans in existence. He's also profoundly insightful and can be kind of disturbing as a result. His accounts of living in France and trying to communicate in French as he was learning it are a must-read for anyone who has ever tried to live abroad. The reading was so funny I was howling and stamping my foot and gasping for air.
Afterward, rather than contend with the ridiculous number of people trying to get into and out of the parking garage near the theater, we walked to a fancy restaurant for dessert and drinks--- I had a totally fantastic dark chocolate pot de creme with fleur de sel, and a drink that was autumn in a glass: pear brandy, champagne, orange curacao and honey water. Yummmm. It was very fancy and a nice departure from our usual suburban dates.
And it was a total departure from the rest of the weekend, which we spent slightly soggy and chilly out in the woods. Winter camping is pretty darn fun, I have to say. I have to admit, I was skeptical. But I am happy to report that it didn't rain very hard except while we were sleeping, and I wasn't too cold most of the time. The leaves were beautiful colors and it was a gorgeous time to be outside. We had a roaring fire going and we huddled around it for hours, staring at the coals and warming our feet. We ate grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for lunch, with woodsmoke and fall air as the only spice. Then we wrapped chicken and veggies in foil packets and roasted them in the coals for dinner. Yummy. I stayed up late late reading a book with a flashlight in the tent, just like I used to when I was a kid. I finished my book and slept like a rock, then got up this morning to find my husband making tea and breakfast over the camp stove.
Ahhhh.
It's good to be home and warm and clean and dry, but I'm glad we went.
Afterward, rather than contend with the ridiculous number of people trying to get into and out of the parking garage near the theater, we walked to a fancy restaurant for dessert and drinks--- I had a totally fantastic dark chocolate pot de creme with fleur de sel, and a drink that was autumn in a glass: pear brandy, champagne, orange curacao and honey water. Yummmm. It was very fancy and a nice departure from our usual suburban dates.
And it was a total departure from the rest of the weekend, which we spent slightly soggy and chilly out in the woods. Winter camping is pretty darn fun, I have to say. I have to admit, I was skeptical. But I am happy to report that it didn't rain very hard except while we were sleeping, and I wasn't too cold most of the time. The leaves were beautiful colors and it was a gorgeous time to be outside. We had a roaring fire going and we huddled around it for hours, staring at the coals and warming our feet. We ate grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for lunch, with woodsmoke and fall air as the only spice. Then we wrapped chicken and veggies in foil packets and roasted them in the coals for dinner. Yummy. I stayed up late late reading a book with a flashlight in the tent, just like I used to when I was a kid. I finished my book and slept like a rock, then got up this morning to find my husband making tea and breakfast over the camp stove.
Ahhhh.
It's good to be home and warm and clean and dry, but I'm glad we went.
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